What Is Holding You Back? How A Problem Leads To Your Answer

CAN’T DETERMINE DIRECTION

Do you recognize this? You want a different job and you don’t get it clear what you want. You examine your qualities,you have your experience together, so you should be able to determine direction, right? But somewhere it seems to be stagnating…

WHAT NOW?

Then investigate whether there is an underlying obstacle that is troubling you. Because the fact is that when you experience something as a problem, you act faster. During my coaching I usually focus on positive elements and investigate what is possible . But sometimes it makes sense to pay attention to a problem. I’ll explain why.

THE PROBLEM LEADS YOU TO ANSWERS

So: if you want a (different) job, ask yourself which obstacle you actually experience. That can make it clear where action is needed. And do you know what the fun is (and what you can do something with)? You almost always want to solve your problem on the wrong level! Yes really! With the first problem you experience, you immediately jump into action for a solution. But often there is a problem behind a problem. An obstacle that is actually much bigger, which you would rather not see, but which is much more bothering you, on a deeper level. When you tackle your problem at the right level, you will achieve much more.

WHY DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOOD AT?

An example. What I hear a lot is: I want a job, but I don’t know what I’m good at . The tendency is to immediately investigate what your qualities are. But it is more interesting to know why you don’t know this. Then ask yourself the following question: what prevents me from naming what I am good at?  The answer is, for example: I don’t really know who I am .

ASK THE QUESTION BEHIND THE QUESTION

Then ask the obstructing question again: what prevents me from knowing who I am ? The answer is, for example: I actually don’t think I’m that special . Then you could ask even further: what prevents me from saying that I am special ? Answer: Others are worth more than I am .

WORK FROM YOUR REAL PROBLEM

And so you get closer to the real problem. Because you can still visualize what your qualities are, if you do not dare to stand for yourself, you will always have trouble communicating your qualities in your quest. It may just be that your real problem is preventing you from taking steps. Working from the real problem therefore yields a lot: you will see that the questions on the levels above are solved much faster!

DON’T GO FOR YOUR FIRST SOLUTION

So if you experience a problem, stop for a moment and see what’s behind it. Ask yourself questions. You often end up with other questions and problems that actually need attention. And that is allowed. Because it leads you to real answers that you are actually looking for.

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